The Prison of Your Own Mind
I’m not one of those people who tells the story of “Five years ago, I was stuck in a corporate job and now I’m free!”
Please. Spare me.
I always knew I’d do my own thing one day. Did I make the most of my corporate career? I don't know, maybe, maybe not. I ran the South African division of a global company, brushed shoulders with international VPs and boardroom execs, travelled the world. Did I learn a lot? Of course. Did I use the opportunity to prepare myself for live after corporate? Probably not. But that was then, this is now.
I left my job two months before COVID. Great timing, right? The “transition plan” I had? Straight into the shredder.
I started as a health and wellness coach for a company and worked part-time at our local gym. Both shut down. My husband’s industry also came to a screeching halt. We scrambled.
Fast-forward four years, I came out of COVID with almost nothing, except for a handful of online clients, and a whole lot of life lessons.
Why am I telling you this? Honestly, I don’t know. Maybe because I’m tired of the cliché: “Are you stuck in your 9-to-5 job and want to be free?”
It’s lazy copywriting. And it misses the point. Not sure what it has to do with anything, but it made me think of my journey.
The truth is, most people feel stuck. If they’re really honest with themselves, they’ll admit that. But even then, they probably don’t even know what “free” actually means.
Ask them, and you’ll get the recycled, Instagrammable version of freedom. Something like “living on my own terms” or “waking up with purpose.” Sounds lovely. But if you press a little harder, it becomes obvious it’s not their own definition. It’s a hand-me-down idea, conditioned into them.
And that’s the real problem.
What does it actually mean to be stuck?
Let’s get real for a second. When someone says, “It’s still stuck in my head,” - whatever the “it” is - they’re not lying. But they’re also not fully aware of what they’re really saying.
Like this comment I read on X today, “Apartheid is still very much stuck in my head”.
From a neuroscience perspective, our brains seek out survival first, then it will worry about happiness. When something painful or traumatic happens, the brain creates strong neural pathways around that experience. Think of it like a groove in a vinyl record - deep, repetitive, automatic. The more you replay it in your mind, the deeper that groove gets.
Even if the external “thing” is gone - whether it’s a person, a job, an injustice, a past experience - your brain doesn’t know that, it doesn’t care. It keeps firing the same old circuits. So even though the “thing” is over, your mind stays in the loop.
You’re not stuck because of the thing anymore.
You’re stuck because you keep playing the same track. You’re stuck because you locked yourself in your own prison.
You locked the door, and thrown away the key. All from the inside. All while you had the keys in your hand at some point.
But what if that’s the only version of life you know?
That’s what keeps most people captive. This belief that nothing can change. That this is just how life is. That freedom is for other people.
And so, they stay stuck in their heads. LITERALLY.
Overthinking. Replaying. Justifying.
And the “stuckness”? It becomes identity.
You hear it in everyday conversation:
“Apartheid is still stuck in my head.”
“I’ll never trust anyone again.”
“People like me don’t succeed.”
It’s like a broken record - on repeat, playing the same song of limitation, hopelessness, and pain. But the real tragedy? Most people don’t even realise they’re the ones holding the power to change the track.
All behaviour is learned. EVERY. SINGLE. ONE.
So here’s my question:
Should the school take more responsibility for teaching children the behaviours that lead to success, resilience, responsibility, and self-awareness instead of reinforcing teaching and behaviours that keep them stuck in the past?
Because let’s be honest… the parents aren’t doing it.
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